Wednesday, March 22, 2006

The Bristow Memo

To: Jack Bauer, CTU
From Jack Bristow, CIA/APO
Re: CTU Status update

Jack, I know we haven't met before, but I feel a certain amount of kinship with you, especially when I hear that you've been double crossed by your lovers twice in the last five years. And it wasn't just you who was double crossed. It was our nation that we both love and have sworn to defend.

I've been there. Really, truly, I have. The love of my life turned out to have used me and I never even saw it coming. She was KGB and she used me, my love for her, and it has cost this nation a great deal.

Audrey and Nina both deserve their respective fates, but I'm writing to warn you about the future. Someone has to get control over CTU hiring practices to stop your mole infestation. Every time you turn around, someone else is either a mole or an incompetent boob that lets their keycard get stolen without reporting the theft and permits CTU to be attacked with nerve gas killing 53 CTU personnel including the invaluable Edgar.

Such incompetence can be tolerated no longer. It should never have been allowed to get to this point, but that's besides the point at this stage in time. The clock is ticking after all.

You must do something. Buchanan doesn't have the clout to do so. And you cannot trust the Homeland Security wench and her toady who both have ulterior motives. I sense much fear in them. And more to the point, I sense that both have an agenda that compromises national security.

Neither of them can be trusted, and both will seek your incarceration at the earliest possible moment. President Logan, whose moral and ethical code is seriously compromised will turn to whoever barks at him the loudest, instead of doing the right thing.

The Vice President has his own agenda, which I have not yet ascertained other than to accumulate power for an eventual run for President. And Novic has his own agenda as well.

Oh, and watch out for those Thin Mints. They're killer on the abs.

Signed,

Jack Bristow
APO

PS: Keep an eye on Kim. She's a trouble magnet. I should know.

UPDATE:
Welcome to those who have entered this blog from the Blogs4Bauer Carnival of Life. Stick around. Stay awhile. And check back next week for another installment of 24 related mayhem.

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