Tuesday, June 28, 2005

The Secret To Bad Box Office

Ever wonder why Hollywood is on a losing streak of epic proportions? Simple. They haven't had an original idea in years coupled with proper execution and are instead combing through comic books, epic novels, or sequels to existing movies for successes.

In fact, if you look at modern movies, the top box office movies are often sequels and adaptations from other materials - Star Wars, X-Men, Matrix Trilogy (I know the sequels weren't as good, but they did great box office), Spiderman, Shrek II, The Passion of the Christ (and I consider this an adaptation since Gibson based it on the New Testament). Those that aren't? The Incredibles, Finding Nemo, and My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

The failed movies? Reimaginations - Bewitched. Bewitched?! It was a second rate tv show! And they figure that throwing Kidman and Ferrell into the title slots would be sufficient?! Who are they kidding. That's why I'm approaching King Kong with trepidation. I know Peter Jackson is a great director and has the knack for tough material as the LOTR shows, but he's got to overcome movie history. King Kong is a classic movie character.

Apparently fewer and fewer people considering that the box office has declined for 17 straight weeks.

Now, I was checking out some movie quotes earlier, in particular from the movie Real Genius (starring Val Kilmer when he was a teen hearthrob and not quite the prima donna that he became later in his career). Well, turns out one of his costars is going to be in a remake of the Poseidon Adventure.

That's right. They're remaking the Poseidon Adventure. Irwin Allen's disaster movies are being remade. And it wont be pretty. Sure, the eye candy of watching stuff sink and blow up in CGI will be sufficient for some, but there are some movies that are best off without being redone. After all, there is no way to top the scene where the guy is hanging by a thread over the topsy turvy main dining hall and he does a reverse swan dive into the stained glass ceiling shorting out the system.

That's a magical movie moment. You know that he's probably going to die. You hope he doesn't, but he dies a memorable death. Same for the preacher, played by Gene Hackman.

In other words, if Hollywood wants to improve things - improve the product. Stop producing crap and people will watch in whatever format you release.

In honor of the Poseidon Adventure, here's a movie list to ponder (I'll start and you can add your own suggestions in the comments) - the best bad movies that should not be remade:
Any Irwin Allen movie - Earthquake, Towering Inferno, Poseidon Adventure to name three

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