Star Wars: The Musical Opus?

Are you kidding me?

Just when it appeared that George Lucas had finally laid to rest his epic saga of Jedis, Wookies and Ewoks, he has announced that Star Wars will return as a stadium experience.

The Times has learnt that Lucasfilm has authorised Star Wars: A Musical Journey, a retelling of the story that will combine excerpts of the film with live orchestral accompaniment.

Diehard fans may dream of Jedi Knights serenading Jabba the Hutt and C-3PO singing “Don’t cry for me, R2-D2” but they are likely to be disappointed. Producers for the show, which will have its world premiere in Britain, emphasised that although actors would be used to narrate the story, it would not be a stage musical.

The production, which condenses more than 13 hours of film into 90 minutes, will be more like a classical music concert performed in front of a cinema screen, 27m (90ft) wide.

George Lucas should have stopped at the Return of the Jedi, before coming back with three prequels that tell the rise of Darth Vader and the Sith along with the destruction of the Jedi. The idea of telling the backstory for Vader and the destruction of the Jedi was certainly a good one, but Lucas couldn't leave well enough alone and included plodding dialog and inane characters - especially Jar Jar Binks.

The Phantom Menace was a menace to those who watched the Star Wars trilogy. Attack of the Clones was at least a visual masterpiece, and Revenge of the Sith actually lived up to the hype, which had been muted by the poor execution of the first two prequels. Still, the dialog suffered horribly and Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman were ill suited to be star crossed lovers.

Now, we're going to get a musical? Or, as the producers claim, a story with musical interludes.

What are the songs going to be? "Don't cry for me Galactic Empire; the truth is, I sought your destruction;" as sung by Emperor Palpatine?

"Die, Die, Die my darling" sung by Anakin to Padme?

"Greased lightning" sung by Han Solo about his cherished Millennium Falcon?

"I will always love you," sung by Princess Leia to a carbonite frozen Han Solo?

The mind reels at the shamelessness of Lucas to wring every last dollar out of the franchise.