Astrocreep

This is one story perfect for the headline writers out there.

Astronaut is involved in a love triangle. Dark Side of the Loon. Falling to Earth. Lust in space. The facts of this particular crime are weird and one that any crime writer would have been hard pressed to come up with:

Astro-nut Lisa Nowak, 43, yesterday landed the sensational extra charge of attempted first-degree murder after Florida authorities said it was clear she intended to do more than kidnap her love rival, comely Air Force Capt. Colleen Shipman, 30, for a chat about their shared affection of "Top Gun" pilot Bill Oefelein.

"She had a mission that she was very determined to carry out. Murder was the plan," prosecutor Amanda Cowan said.

Nowak, a stellar Naval Academy graduate hailed by NASA in a glowing profile on its Web site, appeared in court ashamed and shackled, her head bowed, sporting a dumpy blue jumpsuit that was a far cry from the classic, bright-orange spacesuit she proudly wore into space in July.

The married mother of three left the Orlando courtroom on the arm of chief astronaut Steve Lindsey after posting $25,500 bail and being forced to put on a GPS monitoring anklet designed to warn Shipman if Nowak re-enters the state of Florida after going home to Houston. She was driven away in a red Cadillac.

After Nowak's bust, Shipman told authorities she believes the astronaut had been stalking her for about two months.

She accused Nowak, whom she described as an acquaintance of her boyfriend, "Billy-O" Oefelein, of using government contacts and possibly government clearance via her work computer to tap into her personal information.

The whacked-out Nowak is accused of methodically plotting to kidnap Shipman in a brazen, pre-dawn scheme at Orlando International Airport on Monday.

As if taking her cues from a bad espionage novel, the astronaut-gone-awry donned a bushy black wig, dark glasses and brown trench coat for her role as would-be abductor, officials said.

On top of that, she had driven more than 900 miles to carry out the plan. She wore a diaper to let her drive without making pit stops. When Astronauts Attack.

NASA put her on 30 day leave. I'm sure that they're looking at all their options, including dismissal for conduct unbecoming. Do they really want someone unbalanced heading up missions that cost hundreds of millions of dollars and operating equipment that costs billions and is irreplaceable?

Ace goes back in the wayback machine to grab a pretty famous encounter with Buzz Aldrin's fist and a spoof of Ken Burns' Civil War documentary.